Flexible

When people have differences of opinion or competing interests and argue against each other’s positions by contending that “It doesn’t matter!” or “I don’t see why you’re making such a big deal of this” or “You need to be more flexible,” the paradox becomes quickly apparent.

“Teaching” flexibility to children requires altruism; true flexibility goes in every reasonable direction, not in always enforcing a bowing to the (seemingly) more powerful figure.

A few days ago little Mr. GSM wanted his drink in a particular sippy cup.  His mum said no on the thought that she didn’t want to wash that cup for him.  She hoped (i.e., demanded) he would be flexible.  Then she realized she could be flexible, too.  She washed the cup.

But, you may object, kids need to learn that they can’t always have their way; they can’t make too many demands.  Ah, but they will learn that all too soon and in too many ways. Must parents be the first to “teach” disappointment mostly for their own convenience?

Teaching flexibility must require a peaceful paradox of a generous denial or a giving that is not giving in.